I would say generally take a bit of time to get a good sense of who the person is before you meet him. If he is openly communicative this is much better than if he is overly secretive and evasive. Talk about what you have in common and be sure that he is consistent in his replies. Maybe meet just for a coffee first before getting on the mat with him.
On the one hand, it took some of us a long time to get up the nerve to wrestle. I'm glad one bud persisted until we both first comfortable. Yet, on the other hand, I almost always wait until someone else has wrestled a guy and get a recommendation...even then, safety isn't for sure. Ask a guy what his main interests are: some are very aggressive, I am competitive but not aggressive...some expect oral or anal sex, they are not going to get it from me. Make sure you both understand each other's boundaries. As a rule of thumb, no face picture, no real name, NO RASSLING. Hope this helps, Deano in Cincy
There is a difference between a 0/0 who has been a member since 2010 and a 0/0 who has just recently joined the site. Speaking as someone who has just had the pleasure to promote a new recruit from 0/0 to 1/1, I can tell you: it would have been a shame to deny ourselves a match. :)
This is not to say that you do not need to be careful with new guys (or old ones for that matter), but there are many things that you need to consider and the number of recommendations is just one piece of the puzzle.
Precisely, that is the person I am trying to be! I wouldn't want to miss out on those occasions either!
The issue was that the bad experience was a new member with 0/0. I guess I just need to find the right level of cautiousness next time, and the first experience being a bad experience doesn't really help, leaving me way overcautious.
The aim of this post was for anyone in a similar situation to seek advice. I'm fine now (the experience was a good while ago), but your response sums it up really well.
Firstly I am sorry to hear your confidence has been hit but appreciate how that can happen after a meet like that. I am afraid that it is a bit of a gamble for anyone meeting someone who has no matches or recommendations on profile especially if they have been a member of the site for some considerable time there is usually good reasons. All you can do is have a good chat & try and get a gut feeling about them and make sure what it is there after.
It will be interesting to hear if anyone comes up with any suggestions for you, thanks for your mention.
A while back I had a bad experience with someone with (0/0) on their recommendations. I had to call it off as the match was starting to be unsafe and the agreed rules were starting to be broken. I didn't leave a negative recommendation in the end, as he was very apologetic and seemed willing to try and learn safety with other, more experienced people than me (albeit only with people younger than 30 or thereabouts).
Even so, it knocked my confidence in meeting people with (0/0) on their recommendations. I'm only just starting to test the water again but I still have the event above in my head when I consider it.
We all start off with it (special thanks to Maximus and prosubsladuk for getting me off the starting blocks), so we all had to get someone to test the water for us - but does anyone have any special methods of picking out any (0/0)s offering meets and appear to be safe, or will it always be a stab in the dark every time?
"I didn't leave a negative recommendation in the end." I understand it is unpleasant but it would make the recommendations more useful if you did so. This doesn't have to be unfriendly: "Had to call the match off. Felt unsafe. Didn't stick to agreed rules. Was apologetic at the end and promised to improve in the future."
Great point Dan its very risky in my eyes but yet difficult because like you say everyone starts of with 0/0 at first. iv put it on my profile now so potential opponents are aware of it. think its always going to be a case of a stab in the dark when it does come to 0/0 Personally I prefer opponents who have either wrestled one of my past opponents or if one of my past opponents knows of them that helps. There are loads of new faces joining daily and some look ideal opponents based on both location and preferences but is it worth the risk??? Remember the biggest thing is safety!!!!!
Sturdy (31)
1/28/2014 12:31 AMI would say generally take a bit of time to get a good sense of who the person is before you meet him. If he is openly communicative this is much better than if he is overly secretive and evasive. Talk about what you have in common and be sure that he is consistent in his replies. Maybe meet just for a coffee first before getting on the mat with him.
deanohio2 (19)
1/16/2014 12:54 AMOn the one hand, it took some of us a long time to get up the nerve to wrestle. I'm glad one bud persisted until we both first comfortable. Yet, on the other hand, I almost always wait until someone else has wrestled a guy and get a recommendation...even then, safety isn't for sure. Ask a guy what his main interests are: some are very aggressive, I am competitive but not aggressive...some expect oral or anal sex, they are not going to get it from me. Make sure you both understand each other's boundaries. As a rule of thumb, no face picture, no real name, NO RASSLING. Hope this helps, Deano in Cincy
SileX (207 )
1/11/2014 10:48 PMI would like to offer a counterpoint.
There is a difference between a 0/0 who has been a member since 2010 and a 0/0 who has just recently joined the site. Speaking as someone who has just had the pleasure to promote a new recruit from 0/0 to 1/1, I can tell you: it would have been a shame to deny ourselves a match. :)
This is not to say that you do not need to be careful with new guys (or old ones for that matter), but there are many things that you need to consider and the number of recommendations is just one piece of the puzzle.
sub-aqua (68)
1/12/2014 1:56 AM(In reply to this)
Precisely, that is the person I am trying to be! I wouldn't want to miss out on those occasions either!
The issue was that the bad experience was a new member with 0/0. I guess I just need to find the right level of cautiousness next time, and the first experience being a bad experience doesn't really help, leaving me way overcautious.
The aim of this post was for anyone in a similar situation to seek advice. I'm fine now (the experience was a good while ago), but your response sums it up really well.
Maximus (8)
1/10/2014 6:48 AMFirstly I am sorry to hear your confidence has been hit but appreciate how that can happen after a meet like that. I am afraid that it is a bit of a gamble for anyone meeting someone who has no matches or recommendations on profile especially if they have been a member of the site for some considerable time there is usually good reasons. All you can do is have a good chat & try and get a gut feeling about them and make sure what it is there after.
It will be interesting to hear if anyone comes up with any suggestions for you, thanks for your mention.
Maximus
sub-aqua (68)
1/09/2014 3:36 PMA while back I had a bad experience with someone with (0/0) on their recommendations. I had to call it off as the match was starting to be unsafe and the agreed rules were starting to be broken. I didn't leave a negative recommendation in the end, as he was very apologetic and seemed willing to try and learn safety with other, more experienced people than me (albeit only with people younger than 30 or thereabouts).
Even so, it knocked my confidence in meeting people with (0/0) on their recommendations. I'm only just starting to test the water again but I still have the event above in my head when I consider it.
We all start off with it (special thanks to Maximus and prosubsladuk for getting me off the starting blocks), so we all had to get someone to test the water for us - but does anyone have any special methods of picking out any (0/0)s offering meets and appear to be safe, or will it always be a stab in the dark every time?
matthias (118)
1/12/2014 3:05 PM(In reply to this)
"I didn't leave a negative recommendation in the end." I understand it is unpleasant but it would make the recommendations more useful if you did so. This doesn't have to be unfriendly: "Had to call the match off. Felt unsafe. Didn't stick to agreed rules. Was apologetic at the end and promised to improve in the future."
Andy Cage (30)
1/11/2014 7:31 PM(In reply to this)
Great point Dan its very risky in my eyes but yet difficult because like you say everyone starts of with 0/0 at first. iv put it on my profile now so potential opponents are aware of it. think its always going to be a case of a stab in the dark when it does come to 0/0 Personally I prefer opponents who have either wrestled one of my past opponents or if one of my past opponents knows of them that helps. There are loads of new faces joining daily and some look ideal opponents based on both location and preferences but is it worth the risk??? Remember the biggest thing is safety!!!!!