Here is a good tip. Show up! Lol joking aside, make sure it’s somebody you really want to meet up with. Once you feel comfortable with them, no matter what, you are going to be nervous as hell. That’s normal. Instead of thinking nervous, think excited. You’re stepping out of your comfort zone and that’s where most of our fun and memorable experiences come from. And yes, take it easy and just enjoy yourself. No one is keeping score. 😎
My first experience was with a guy who is no longer on the site. We kept it PG-13 and had some fun. He was kind of quiet, and I was wondering if he really enjoyed himself. But he ended up contacting me a couple of days later for round two. He was just nervous as well but much more relaxed the second time.
Hey fella, a few things I’ve learned over the 25 years I have been doing this:
1. Take it easy the first time you plan to meet up with someone. Don’t rush it, and if they are in a hurry to get together, that’s usually a red flag. Some fellas just use “wrestling” as code, and are looking to get off and that’s it. It’s fine if that’s the thing both guys want, but lots of times the guys who just want one thing aren’t willing to put in the time to chat for awhile, or will be gone after about 10 minutes, right after they blow.
When you do get together with someone, make sure you are both on the same page about what you want. That’s not to say some guys won’t push the limits, but most guys are very respectful. A safe word can always be a useful thing as well, or just establish that “stop means stop.”
2. As far as nerves or anxiety, that’s normal. I have been doing this a long time and I still get a heightened sense of anticipation when meeting new guys for the first time. If you find a guy who understands this is about fun and enjoyment more than anything else, hopefully that will help the nerves subside a bit. We can be competitive, but none of us are making a career out of this. It helps when the other fella also understands that we have lives to go back to.
3. My first experience came after talking to a guy via yahoo messenger (way back in those days) for awhile, getting to know him, making sure we were on the same page, and then eventually meeting up at his house. We took it easy at first, and then worked into some competitive wrestling. The most important part of each round was the respect we had for one another’s desires and limitations. It was always safe and sane, and he was great to talk to in between rounds. Even afterward we probably talked for a solid 45 minutes before we said our goodbyes. We shared some horror stories, but were happy that our meet up wasn’t one of them. I ended up wrestling him probably another 4-5 times over the course of the next 15 years.
Hope that helps; if you want to know more, feel free to message me!
Hey fellow wrestlers. Been on the mat in the gym for nine years in bjj and ready to branch out into more one-on-one matches. I have my first match Friday.
(1) Any recommendations or thoughts?
(2) How to deal with the nerves and anxiety?
(3) What was your first experience like?
Bill Parker (45)
11/24/2023 3:57 PMHere is a good tip. Show up! Lol joking aside, make sure it’s somebody you really want to meet up with. Once you feel comfortable with them, no matter what, you are going to be nervous as hell. That’s normal. Instead of thinking nervous, think excited. You’re stepping out of your comfort zone and that’s where most of our fun and memorable experiences come from. And yes, take it easy and just enjoy yourself. No one is keeping score. 😎
My first experience was with a guy who is no longer on the site. We kept it PG-13 and had some fun. He was kind of quiet, and I was wondering if he really enjoyed himself. But he ended up contacting me a couple of days later for round two. He was just nervous as well but much more relaxed the second time.
Edge2127 (15)
11/24/2023 4:04 PM(In reply to this)
Great help. I am going in relaxed like you said. Treat it like a a regular bjj roll on the mat.
BulldogOhio (15)
11/23/2023 5:15 AMHey fella, a few things I’ve learned over the 25 years I have been doing this:
1. Take it easy the first time you plan to meet up with someone. Don’t rush it, and if they are in a hurry to get together, that’s usually a red flag. Some fellas just use “wrestling” as code, and are looking to get off and that’s it. It’s fine if that’s the thing both guys want, but lots of times the guys who just want one thing aren’t willing to put in the time to chat for awhile, or will be gone after about 10 minutes, right after they blow.
When you do get together with someone, make sure you are both on the same page about what you want. That’s not to say some guys won’t push the limits, but most guys are very respectful. A safe word can always be a useful thing as well, or just establish that “stop means stop.”
2. As far as nerves or anxiety, that’s normal. I have been doing this a long time and I still get a heightened sense of anticipation when meeting new guys for the first time. If you find a guy who understands this is about fun and enjoyment more than anything else, hopefully that will help the nerves subside a bit. We can be competitive, but none of us are making a career out of this. It helps when the other fella also understands that we have lives to go back to.
3. My first experience came after talking to a guy via yahoo messenger (way back in those days) for awhile, getting to know him, making sure we were on the same page, and then eventually meeting up at his house. We took it easy at first, and then worked into some competitive wrestling. The most important part of each round was the respect we had for one another’s desires and limitations. It was always safe and sane, and he was great to talk to in between rounds. Even afterward we probably talked for a solid 45 minutes before we said our goodbyes. We shared some horror stories, but were happy that our meet up wasn’t one of them. I ended up wrestling him probably another 4-5 times over the course of the next 15 years.
Hope that helps; if you want to know more, feel free to message me!
Edge2127 (15)
11/24/2023 2:34 PM(In reply to this)
Thank you!
Edge2127 (15)
11/23/2023 4:06 AMHey fellow wrestlers. Been on the mat in the gym for nine years in bjj and ready to branch out into more one-on-one matches. I have my first match Friday.
(1) Any recommendations or thoughts?
(2) How to deal with the nerves and anxiety?
(3) What was your first experience like?