I do find it difficult at times to find matches over this way, and while my size is a factor to many who will want to wrestle, the main reason is that there are simply not many guys in Ireland. There are about 100 members, but a small fraction who are actually meeting. Most of those who would have registered in recent times are more intrigued with the idea of wrestling. Even when I travel, it is a limited pool with my stats.
However, for a guy who initially signed up because I was intrigued, and who decided to give it a go, I have met some great men who showed me how much I can enjoy it. So rather than looking at my past opponent list and wish there were more, I am just glad that I met some guys willing to wrestle.
I completely respect that some guys want someone fit, slim, experienced etc. I don’t host but I am always willing to sort a hotel. So it’s a question of making allowances and showing some willing to be flexible on how to make a meet happen.
Some great points by AgentPoseidon, Belligerent and Grappling Hooked. Something every member should read and consider.
Sadly, not everyone is meant to have regular meetups. Some are skilled enough to have meetups, and others just have good luck. The rest of us neither have the skill nor the luck.
If you have the ability to change your circumstances, then good for you. If not, we just have to accept that this is how it is. Better to focus our energy on our careers or on household chores instead.
It's important to not take it personally. First off, the percentage of people on this site (or on any wrestling fetish-related site) who are actually serious about meeting up is probably less than 25%. The rest are just curious, or fantasy-oriented, or looking for wanking material. Unfortunately, part of the fantasy for some people seems to be interacting with someone AS IF you're going to have a real match, but never actually doing so. Extremely frustrating time-wasters for those of us who are honestly looking to meet up for real matches.
So, figure that at least 75% of the time, you're just dealing with someone who is never going to meet up – with you, or with anyone.
That still leaves maybe 25% – we'll call them "legitimate" opponents. Within that subset, I think there are factors that make it more likely to get matches, or less likely to get matches. Some are within our control, while others are not.
Things that I think make getting a match with a legitimate opponent more likely: - Having plenty of pics on here, esp. ones that reveal one's body
- Having plenty of confirmed past opponents
- Having plenty of mutual recommendations
- Being able to host (this is huge!)
- Being on the same page as opponent with regard to rules, gear, erotic elements etc. (this is a very difficult hurdle to overcome in many, many cases)
- Being in good shape (i.e. athletic to muscular)
- Being young (sorry, but ageism is definitely a thing – I've just learned to accept that I've aged out of wrestling a large percentage of people on here)
Things that I think make getting a match with a legitimate opponent less likely: - Few pics
- Only old pics
- No past opponents
- No recommendations
- Can't host (often, when neither party can host and neither is willing to put their credit card on a hotel room bill, that's a deal-breaker right there)
- Small windows of opportunity for both people
- Lack of physical attraction/chemistry (perceived attractiveness, hairy vs. smooth preferences, racial/ethnic preferences, etc.)
- Size mismatches
- Goals incompatibility (both are jobbers, for example)
- Giving off weird vibes in chat/messaging
Obviously, many of these aspects are things we have little to no control over, while others are life choices we make with regard to how important wrestling is to us in the broad scheme of our "normal" lives.
And these are only my own opinions, though I've been doing this for a very long time. Your mileage may vary. I've just accepted that for every hour I spend in an actual match, I will probably end up investing thousands of hours seeking it. It sucks, and there are many times I wish this fetish of mine would just go away, because it's such a source of frustration and wasted time. But I've learned that it's just part of who I am, and I'm stuck with it, forever.
When I see messages like those on this thread, and the frustration so many of us feel, it at least makes me feel a bit less alone in having to deal with it.
What you've said Hooked sounds very logical in theory and I would agree in general terms however I've not really found it a factor in my experience.
- When I've looked through other people's profiles, I see some with lots of pics and some with very few/no pics or old ones. Some with lots of opponents, some with few/none opponents.
- Several opponents I've met had no opponents/recommendations (they have since gone on to get more or have left the site) & as I mentioned in my previous post, I've not experienced any difference in reliability between people with lots of opponents/recommendations and those with none.
- Can't host, well my opinion is that many people simply say this as an excuse not to meet whoever is asking them. When I ask people for a match, if they answer, usually one of the first thing they say is to ask if I can host. I don't believe it is a genuine question for most people as I expect they are waiting for me to say no so they can quickly & easily dismiss me. But I can host, so the next excuse I get is that they think my place is too far from them even though it is in the same city. Now, here in Australia, on average, we live in among the largest homes in the world which are usually freestanding homes with front and back yard, garage, around 4 bedrooms, multiple living rooms, multiple bathrooms. Most people that live here should be able to host and for those that can't, you'd expect they'd be willing to travel within the some city. And plenty of these people who claim they can't host or travel within the city have lots of opponents,
-Rules, match types etc, usually this doesn't come up for me but it makes no difference if I agree to what they want.
- Size mismatches, this comes up sometimes and again, I believe people use it as a lame excuse not to meet. Size can be a factor in the oucome of a match but it is usually a small factor if at all unless you're doing styles like sumo which is not a popular style. Skill/fitness/agression are bigger factors and its incredibly rare for anyone to question those.
- Age & being in good shape.....well I joined here as an elite athlete in my 20s and I can assure you that no one gives a dam. If you look through the profiles, you can see plenty of overweight people in their 50s/60s with heaps of opponents so fitness & age is not stopping them from getting opponents.
What I will agree with is the attraction point which where I think it all is. Plus I think there can also be a factor of how many other profiles are in your area. If there's no one in your area, then you probably won't get any. But if you're in a busy area and you've exhausted all the options already here, then you might not get any new or visiting people either because they get so much choice and will pick other people they think are better.. My city has about 100 profiles listed and is a tourist area but I've spoken with many new/visiting profiles who claim they'll meet me for a match but then they go quiet and then a bunch of other locals appear on their opponents list.
I'm still looking for my first match. Oh, I've had a few belly punching sessions, but so far no wrestling match. I don't know if it's my lack of experience or my age, or something else. Or maybe it's what you're talking about in this post. But I'll keep looking.
If I can give you some feedback, I would recommend you add shirtless body pics to your profile. People want to see what they're going to potentially be up against.
Sounds about right though for me it's always been like this, not just lately and I get about 50% unanswered inviations, 25% lame excuses not to meet and about 25% claim to be interested & provide some small talk & then go quiet. The experience is no different when people approach me for a match. After I agree to their request, they go quiet or provide a lame excuse. And I've not found that there is any difference between the reliability of someone who's profile has stacks of opponents & recommendations or someone who's profile has none.
I just needed to sound off post-covid that I am having a devil of a time getting matches.
I think this topic would have broad appeal because lets face it the whole title and purpose of this site is to find guys to wrestle. I just want to share what is occurring because it's driving me nuts and I want to compare notes.
Because whatever it is I am NOT getting matches.
I regularly interact on here, update my profile, welcome new members, deal with the stupid picture nazi system, set up challenges, etc.
One of the following happens when I reach out:
Hosting at Home:
- No Response 70% of the time
- One word thank you / no interest 15%
- Nice conversation about wrestling "someday" but wont make plans to meet. 15%.
Traveling:
I go on the map for the area I am headed 1 week out, send nice invites to at least 10 guys.
Same results as above mostly, with the laat 15% above being too busy.
I am a gay man who needs to wrestle other men. For the physical contact, exercise and yes for those into erotic, that release.
I can't do it when practically nobody will ever meet.
I think I look pretty damn good for a 51 year old. Guys seem to like my pics and poems but thats it...
This is an important area of my life and it feels like a drought. People will just not end up meeting.
So I'm posting this here for a dialogue to see if I'm alone / all wet / don't get it or this is a widespread thing.
YES i can go to a dojo and go into debt for $150 a month continuing to wrestle. I just dont want that expense but Meetfighters aint making it for me as far as getting action.
Mat Man (0)
6/14/2022 6:11 AMFirst covid, now monkey pox. No wonder its getting harder! They even had to cancel clash of the titans this year due to shortage of participators. ☹️
JoshFighter (0 )
6/10/2022 12:49 AMI've used grindr and in my profile "looking for wrestling matches" you would be amazed how many guys will DM you.
Amino (0)
6/09/2022 9:28 PMI would help my oponents with money to have matches, If I had enough money.
It's scary to know many people have wanked with your photos :0
LeinsterWrestle (6)
6/07/2022 7:13 PMI do find it difficult at times to find matches over this way, and while my size is a factor to many who will want to wrestle, the main reason is that there are simply not many guys in Ireland. There are about 100 members, but a small fraction who are actually meeting. Most of those who would have registered in recent times are more intrigued with the idea of wrestling. Even when I travel, it is a limited pool with my stats.
However, for a guy who initially signed up because I was intrigued, and who decided to give it a go, I have met some great men who showed me how much I can enjoy it. So rather than looking at my past opponent list and wish there were more, I am just glad that I met some guys willing to wrestle.
I completely respect that some guys want someone fit, slim, experienced etc. I don’t host but I am always willing to sort a hotel. So it’s a question of making allowances and showing some willing to be flexible on how to make a meet happen.
Some great points by AgentPoseidon, Belligerent and Grappling Hooked. Something every member should read and consider.
AgentPoseidon (31)
6/09/2022 1:53 AM(In reply to this)
Thank you for weighing in. Good to know this is an international issue, not just in the States.
DM Mask (3)
6/06/2022 7:28 PMSadly, not everyone is meant to have regular meetups. Some are skilled enough to have meetups, and others just have good luck. The rest of us neither have the skill nor the luck.
If you have the ability to change your circumstances, then good for you. If not, we just have to accept that this is how it is. Better to focus our energy on our careers or on household chores instead.
grappling hooked (33)
6/06/2022 6:12 PMIt's important to not take it personally. First off, the percentage of people on this site (or on any wrestling fetish-related site) who are actually serious about meeting up is probably less than 25%. The rest are just curious, or fantasy-oriented, or looking for wanking material. Unfortunately, part of the fantasy for some people seems to be interacting with someone AS IF you're going to have a real match, but never actually doing so. Extremely frustrating time-wasters for those of us who are honestly looking to meet up for real matches.
So, figure that at least 75% of the time, you're just dealing with someone who is never going to meet up – with you, or with anyone.
That still leaves maybe 25% – we'll call them "legitimate" opponents. Within that subset, I think there are factors that make it more likely to get matches, or less likely to get matches. Some are within our control, while others are not.
Things that I think make getting a match with a legitimate opponent more likely:
- Having plenty of pics on here, esp. ones that reveal one's body
- Having plenty of confirmed past opponents
- Having plenty of mutual recommendations
- Being able to host (this is huge!)
- Being on the same page as opponent with regard to rules, gear, erotic elements etc. (this is a very difficult hurdle to overcome in many, many cases)
- Being in good shape (i.e. athletic to muscular)
- Being young (sorry, but ageism is definitely a thing – I've just learned to accept that I've aged out of wrestling a large percentage of people on here)
Things that I think make getting a match with a legitimate opponent less likely:
- Few pics
- Only old pics
- No past opponents
- No recommendations
- Can't host (often, when neither party can host and neither is willing to put their credit card on a hotel room bill, that's a deal-breaker right there)
- Small windows of opportunity for both people
- Lack of physical attraction/chemistry (perceived attractiveness, hairy vs. smooth preferences, racial/ethnic preferences, etc.)
- Size mismatches
- Goals incompatibility (both are jobbers, for example)
- Giving off weird vibes in chat/messaging
Obviously, many of these aspects are things we have little to no control over, while others are life choices we make with regard to how important wrestling is to us in the broad scheme of our "normal" lives.
And these are only my own opinions, though I've been doing this for a very long time. Your mileage may vary. I've just accepted that for every hour I spend in an actual match, I will probably end up investing thousands of hours seeking it. It sucks, and there are many times I wish this fetish of mine would just go away, because it's such a source of frustration and wasted time. But I've learned that it's just part of who I am, and I'm stuck with it, forever.
When I see messages like those on this thread, and the frustration so many of us feel, it at least makes me feel a bit less alone in having to deal with it.
SileX (207 )
6/07/2022 11:48 AM(In reply to this)
This is an excellent post worthy of becoming a part of the site's "tips for beginners" section! I would like to point to two items as most crucial:
Belligerent (16 )
6/07/2022 1:32 AM(In reply to this)
What you've said Hooked sounds very logical in theory and I would agree in general terms however I've not really found it a factor in my experience.
- When I've looked through other people's profiles, I see some with lots of pics and some with very few/no pics or old ones. Some with lots of opponents, some with few/none opponents.
- Several opponents I've met had no opponents/recommendations (they have since gone on to get more or have left the site) & as I mentioned in my previous post, I've not experienced any difference in reliability between people with lots of opponents/recommendations and those with none.
- Can't host, well my opinion is that many people simply say this as an excuse not to meet whoever is asking them. When I ask people for a match, if they answer, usually one of the first thing they say is to ask if I can host. I don't believe it is a genuine question for most people as I expect they are waiting for me to say no so they can quickly & easily dismiss me. But I can host, so the next excuse I get is that they think my place is too far from them even though it is in the same city. Now, here in Australia, on average, we live in among the largest homes in the world which are usually freestanding homes with front and back yard, garage, around 4 bedrooms, multiple living rooms, multiple bathrooms. Most people that live here should be able to host and for those that can't, you'd expect they'd be willing to travel within the some city. And plenty of these people who claim they can't host or travel within the city have lots of opponents,
-Rules, match types etc, usually this doesn't come up for me but it makes no difference if I agree to what they want.
- Size mismatches, this comes up sometimes and again, I believe people use it as a lame excuse not to meet. Size can be a factor in the oucome of a match but it is usually a small factor if at all unless you're doing styles like sumo which is not a popular style. Skill/fitness/agression are bigger factors and its incredibly rare for anyone to question those.
- Age & being in good shape.....well I joined here as an elite athlete in my 20s and I can assure you that no one gives a dam. If you look through the profiles, you can see plenty of overweight people in their 50s/60s with heaps of opponents so fitness & age is not stopping them from getting opponents.
What I will agree with is the attraction point which where I think it all is. Plus I think there can also be a factor of how many other profiles are in your area. If there's no one in your area, then you probably won't get any. But if you're in a busy area and you've exhausted all the options already here, then you might not get any new or visiting people either because they get so much choice and will pick other people they think are better.. My city has about 100 profiles listed and is a tourist area but I've spoken with many new/visiting profiles who claim they'll meet me for a match but then they go quiet and then a bunch of other locals appear on their opponents list.
AgentPoseidon (31)
6/06/2022 7:35 PM(In reply to this)
Grappling what a great post. Thank you so much. Hugs & Headscissors!
BobsFolly (0)
6/06/2022 5:09 AMI'm still looking for my first match. Oh, I've had a few belly punching sessions, but so far no wrestling match. I don't know if it's my lack of experience or my age, or something else. Or maybe it's what you're talking about in this post. But I'll keep looking.
grappling hooked (33)
6/06/2022 6:16 PM(In reply to this)
If I can give you some feedback, I would recommend you add shirtless body pics to your profile. People want to see what they're going to potentially be up against.
Belligerent (16 )
6/06/2022 2:42 AMSounds about right though for me it's always been like this, not just lately and I get about 50% unanswered inviations, 25% lame excuses not to meet and about 25% claim to be interested & provide some small talk & then go quiet. The experience is no different when people approach me for a match. After I agree to their request, they go quiet or provide a lame excuse. And I've not found that there is any difference between the reliability of someone who's profile has stacks of opponents & recommendations or someone who's profile has none.
AgentPoseidon (31)
6/06/2022 3:55 AM(In reply to this)
Thank you for comparing notes and confirming some things.
AgentPoseidon (31)
6/05/2022 7:16 PMI just needed to sound off post-covid that I am having a devil of a time getting matches.
I think this topic would have broad appeal because lets face it the whole title and purpose of this site is to find guys to wrestle. I just want to share what is occurring because it's driving me nuts and I want to compare notes.
Because whatever it is I am NOT getting matches.
I regularly interact on here, update my profile, welcome new members, deal with the stupid picture nazi system, set up challenges, etc.
One of the following happens when I reach out:
Hosting at Home:
- No Response 70% of the time
- One word thank you / no interest 15%
- Nice conversation about wrestling "someday" but wont make plans to meet. 15%.
Traveling:
I go on the map for the area I am headed 1 week out, send nice invites to at least 10 guys.
Same results as above mostly, with the laat 15% above being too busy.
I am a gay man who needs to wrestle other men. For the physical contact, exercise and yes for those into erotic, that release.
I can't do it when practically nobody will ever meet.
I think I look pretty damn good for a 51 year old. Guys seem to like my pics and poems but thats it...
This is an important area of my life and it feels like a drought. People will just not end up meeting.
So I'm posting this here for a dialogue to see if I'm alone / all wet / don't get it or this is a widespread thing.
YES i can go to a dojo and go into debt for $150 a month continuing to wrestle. I just dont want that expense but Meetfighters aint making it for me as far as getting action.
Thanks.
Scott